The dummies guide to dating Men:

Men have made up their mind about whether or not they want to sleep with you 15 minutes after you have met them. Men hold back money, dinners, trips and all of the big stuff until the third date, which is the longest period of time any of them can tolerate delay, after that, any continued dating is, to men, a “write off” and they have already started looking elsewhere. Men consider any money spent after the 3rd date to be a waste of money.

Do not tell your men “friends” about the guy you like until after two weeks. All men are genetically ingrained to be territorial. Whether your men “friends” like you or not, they will suddenly nay-say the new guy, use psychological tricks to create stress and suddenly confess their “secret love” for you in order to cut the new guy off at the knees. Men “friends” are often using the friend cover to get close to you and watch for a vulnerable moment to make their move.

Men are genetically ingrained to make more people for the species so they are naturally non monogamist. They never will be faithful. It is not a choice they have. It is programmed into their genetic material in order to ensure the survival of the human race. Monogamy does even make sense to men.

Do not talk about your pet to men. Most men already think women are obsessive about their pets to start with, and when they see any sign of that concept being validated they start to look elsewhere. When men are over make sure you have no more than 3 pet toys visible.

Men do not talk about feelings.

Men look for younger women because they think the older a women is the more she has been hit on for sex and the more resistant, jaded and unfun she will be. Women can kill off any teenie bopper threat by simply acting more sexually playful.

There is no recorded incidence of a man ever reading the profile of an online dating ad. They only, only, only ever look at the pictures. All men use cut and paste on online dating ads because only a small % of women ever respond. It just isn’t efficient to not use it.

Note: If you are female and over 25 years old and you did not already know everything on this sheet then you need an intervention… seriously